


One More Chance To Hold You

by DramaticNia



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday Party, Crying, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Misunderstandings, Self-Sacrifice, Sobbing, Unrequited Love, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticNia/pseuds/DramaticNia
Summary: Jeremy has made a fateful decision.And what seems to be a quite perfect and genius decision at first,may lead to hidden heart pains, constant headaches, and a persistent bitterness...But what would be the final cost of this wrong decision...?!!! Chapter two updated !!!
Relationships: Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Hammond
Comments: 10
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**19th of December 2008 | 21:14 PM | London**

**  
**"James, I'm starting to get quite a bit worried about him, you know? He's too late and It's so unlikely of him not to answer his phone, don't you think?" Richard whispered, frowning deep as he bit his nails nervelessly. He was sitting behind the counter and staring at his phone, waiting for any notifications from his last guest.

  
"Can't you just calm the fuck down and enjoy your birthday party like a normal human being, Hammond? You have Andy, me, the WHOLE of Top Gear crew and their partners here! Why would you want that big irritating oaf here to ruin our fun?" James said as he sipped from his beer.

  
Richard pouted and looked at his older friend with his puppy eyes, the loud music playing in his house combined with the sound of people yelling and talking loudly with each other making his anxiety headache even worse.

  
James sighed dramatically to the fact that he couldn't resist his friend's pleas and took his phone out of his pocket.

  
"You go and find a fucking painkiller for your headache before you die here on me, I'll try to call a few of his odd friends and see whether I can reach him or not." James said as he he got up to find a quieter place to make a few calls.

  
"Thanks, mate." Richard said, his face lighted up with a small but grateful smile as he left.

**20th of December 2008 | 00:24 AM | London**

  
The party was over now and everybody had left.

  
James was still there though, _'helping to clean up the living room a bit.'_ that's what he'd said to Richard when everybody else left.

  
However, that wasn't actually the only reason James wanted to stay a bit longer at the younger man's flat.

  
The younger man was already _too drunk_ to even move from the sofa, but he was _still_ drinking.  
  


It was his 30th birthday, _for God's sake,_ but from the very first moment the party started, the younger man had started drinking like there was no tomorrow.

  
 _'Only to numb the pain in his heart a bit.'_ James reasoned to himself.

  
Maybe Richard's watery, red-rimmed eyes and his shaking hands went unnoticed by the other guests who were all busy chatting and eating, but not by James... He knew Richard better than anyone else to assume that it is normal for his younger friend to be like _this._ at _his own_ _birthday_ , of all the other days!

  
James would only sigh once in a while as he passed in front of Richard to pick up the beer bottles and clean the living room, but at some point, when he saw Richard crying his lungs out and hiccuping breathlessly, he couldn't help but think that the younger man was going to die from alcohol poisoning!

  
"For fuck's sake, Hammond! That's enough already!" James hissed as he snatched the bottle from the younger man's cold hand, "You're going to kill yourself, you utter pillock!" James said as he put the bottle on the counter and came back to sit on the sofa beside Richard, who was smiling bitterly between his tear floods and heavy childish sobs.

  
"Hammond-"

  
"H-he didn't c-come, James." Richard murmured so low between his sobs that James almost didn't hear him.

  
"What?"

  
"H-he... He didn't come..."

  
And James knew very well what the younger man was actually talking about....

  
The older man sighed and shifted a little closer to his younger friend.

  
"Richard-"

  
"A-am I ugly?"

  
"What?" James asked with knitted eyebrows, a few seconds passed until realisation hit him like a bolt of lightening, "Oh- Oh for God's sake, Hammond! What the bloody hell are you saying?"

  
"Am I?" Richard asked again, this time looking straight into James' eyes with his watery big brown eyes.

  
James sighed, knowing full well that he'll eventually have to answer the younger man's question, no matter what. So he just decided to answer him right away without further argumentation.

  
"Hammond, you might be a blithering idiot, which you certainly are, but you're, well, a beautiful one, I must admit." James paused for a moment, "Maybe even the most beautiful idiot I've ever seen in my life." The older man finished, smiling sheepishly, trying to lighten up his friend's mood-

  
which wasn't successful...

  
"S-so I'm an idiot..." The younger man said as he lowered his head, fresh tears already making their way down his pale face.

  
James' smile dropped almost immediately.

  
 _'Oh. Bullocks...!'_ James said to himself and did a mental facepalm.

  
"Hammond-"

  
"Th-that's w-why he doesn't w-want me then..."

_'I'm going to bludgeon that pathetic big oaf to death tomorrow.'_ James said to himself as he sighed for the nth time that night.

  
A few minutes later, Richard fell asleep on the sofa. He was still sobbing in his sleep which made James' heart sink for his younger friend.

  
But then his phone buzzed on the counter and James literally ran to grab his phone and unlocked his screen.

  
It was a Facebook notification:

  
** Jacob Dixon posted a new photo. **

**  
**James suddenly realised that Richard had actually invited Jacob as well - _which James had seriously disagreed with, but Richard had just smiled and said that it was rude not to invite only him_ \- but he didn't come to the party as well as Jeremy!

  
With a sceptical look on his face, he opened the notification and what he saw made his breath stop.

  
It was a selfie of Jacob and Jeremy, sitting around a table in an outdoor restaurant. Jeremy was looking at somewhere else while Jacob was looking straight at the camera, with narrowed eyes and that arrogant smile of his.

  
James sighed, turned his screen off and closed his eyes for a moment to collect his thoughts.

  
 _'Hammond doesn't need to know about this yet.'_ He said and nodded to himself as he looked at his younger friend, curled up in a fetal position on the sofa with a deep frown on his face... .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I have lots of evil ideas in my mind which I like to write down as 'stories' 😈  
> So please bear with me ~ 😄  
> And you'll know everything about Jacob Dixon in the next chapter hahaha 😈😂  
> Anyway,  
> Hope you enjoyed and liked this story so far ~ ♥  
> The next chapter is already ready 😂 So, stay tuned for another update later today 😉  
> And please let me know what you think about it ~ 💞😘


	2. Chapter 2

**20th of December 2008 | 08:34 AM | Dunsfold Aerodrome, Surrey, United Kingdom**

**  
**When James entered the hanger the next morning, he saw Jeremy standing near the set, talking and laughing with a man; a young man James had never met in person before, but he could say who he actually was.

  
The younger man had short blond hair and was almost half a foot shorter than Jeremy. He was fit and pretty muscular, wearing a short sleeved fitted t-shirt and a pair of distressed ripped jeans.

  
James walked towards where Jeremy was standing and stood a few meters away from the older man, giving him a little time and privacy to end his conversation. James waited with his arms crossed over his chest, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. But it seemed that Jeremy's conversation with that man wasn't going to end anytime soon. So he stepped forward and interrupted his friend with a cough.

  
"James!" Jeremy exclaimed, "This is Jacob Dixon, the forth presenter of Top Gear I told you about; and I think you've seen a few pictures of him before." He gestured towards the young man standing by his side and James nodded, "and Jacob, this is James May. I've told you about him before."

  
"Oh yeah. Slow, fat, old fashioned, living in 1956, right?" The young man said, smirking with a raised eyebrow, then looked at Jeremy, who was vainly trying to muffle his laughter.

  
James just stared at them with a serious expression and poker faced.

  
"Could I have a word with you, Mr. Clarkson?" James said, narrowing his eyes quite annoyedly.

  
When Jeremy was finally done mocking him and laughing his guts out with his new odd friend, he followed James to a corner.

  
"What is it?" Jeremy asked, still smiling as he wiped on the tears gathered in the corner of his eyes due to laughter.

  
"Where were you last night?"

  
"What do you mean _'where were you last night'_ ?" Jeremy impersonated James' voice as he rolled his eyes.

  
"Where _the bloody hell_ were you last night and why wouldn't you answer your fucking phone?" James said, sounding extremely irritated.

  
"Oh, right." Jeremy smiled, "Last night I was out for a dinner with Jacob. He said it'll make us feel more comfortable around each other which is very good for the show, and then he took my phone and hid it so we could enjoy our night for a few hours without any technology around. And then I went home and fell asleep and somehow forgot to charge it." Jeremy paused, searching his pockets for his phone, "And I think I've left it at home." The older man finished, then looked up at James with a smug face.

  
"Great! You daft man spent your _fucking_ night having fun with _that dickhead_ , and _that idiot_ _boy_ was _KILLING_ himself because of _you_ at his _bloody_ _BIRTHDAY!_ " James almost shouted in Jeremy's face, he was totally done with absolutely all of them.

  
"What the hell are you talking- Wait! Birthday? Who's- Oh God! Is it- was it-" Jeremy paused and his eyes went impossibly wide as in disbelief, "Oh God what is the bloody date today?" Jeremy asked, and frantically started to search for his phone in his pockets again.

  
"Last night was his birthday and you ruined it for him, Jeremy." James said calmly. The anger was already gone but now there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

  
"Why didn't you tell me yesterday when we were at the set!" Jeremy asked, frustratedly running his hand over his face.

  
"I told you, you moron! But you were so caught up in talking with someone on your bloody phone that you didn't even listen to me!"

  
"God- Okay. Okay. I.. uh.. I will apologise to him when he comes today and everything will be alright. Yes. Everything will be alright. He will understand." Jeremy said and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down a bit.

  
 _'Now it's the time, May! Just tell him already! You have to tell him before that little sod kills himself!'_ James' inner voice whispered to him, and he nodded to it.

  
"Jeremy, listen-"

  
"Hi guys."

  
Someone interrupted James.

  
Jeremy and James both turned around to the direction of the sound-

It was Hammond!

  
Yes.

  
But...

  
Somehow,

  
It wasn't _him_ at all!

It wasn't the beautiful, fresh, cheerful and beaming Richard Hammond with those sparkly eyes and that bright smile they were used to see almost everyday.

No.

  
It was an almost _10 years older_ version of him!

  
Skinnier,

  
Dishevelled,

  
Pale,

  
Red eyed,

  
With a fake bitter smile on his chapped lips.

  
"Hey mate!" Jeremy said, grinning as he made his way towards their younger friend.

  
"Look, I'm really, really sincerely sorry for the last night, okay?" Jeremy said as he put his hand on Richard's brittle and thin shoulder, causing the smaller man to flinch under the touch, "What about us going out for a dinner tonight?"

  
Richard raised his head immediately, light coming back to his eyes momentarily as he looked into Jeremy's excited eyes-

  
"It'll be a good opportunity for you two to get to know Jacob as well! He's a fun and very good-looking guy, you know? I'm sure you'll like him." Jeremy finished with a satisfied grin on his face.

  
And Richard's faint smile faded as fast as it had formed, the light left his eyes again, leaving a dull expression on his face.

  
"You haven't-" Richard mumbled, voice low as in disbelief.

  
"Yes. He's actually done _that,_ Hammond." James said and nodded as he stepped closer to his friends.

  
"What's the matter with it! Four presenters would be much more entertaining for the audience!" Jeremy said with his usual rational tone.

  
Richard frowned and lowered his head again, nodding his head as to show his agreement.

  
"See? Hammond agrees too! Now let's go. We have a script rehearsal all together today." Jeremy said as he left.

  
James just sighed and shook his head.

  
"He's just an ignorant 8 feet gorilla." James said and walked towards the set with Richard following quietly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, here is another chapter ~ (Since I finally have some free time and I'm in the mood for writing 😄)  
> Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think about this story so far ~ 💞😈


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